The Copenhagen Report

...not quite the like the apple pie mom used to make

For those with a serious sweet tooth, Denmark is not a bad choice. And I'm the first to acknowledge that I have such a sweet tooth - it's no secret.

Whereas many a newcomer to Denmark, upon seeking out and tasting one of those infamous and authentic Danish pastry are shocked at the staggeringly sweet nature of these little sugar bombs, I thoroughly enjoy them. Interestingly, it should be noted these are nothing like that which is served under the tag 'danish' in other countries. Rather, these are heart-stoppingly sugar-laden and often sticky things, the likes of which you've surely never tasted anywhere else. For many the sweetness is simply too much (and in truth, many Danes feel the same way). I, on the other hand, reach for seconds. Perhaps it has something to do with coming from a country famous for producing one of the sweetest products made from a natural substance, maple syrup. Or maybe it's just me.

Examples include: wienerbrød, spandauer, snegle, kringler, to name but a few.

Upon tasting them, one immediately wonders why the average Dane doesn't weigh 2 tonnes (which they certainly don't - and I don't weight 2 tonnes either, I might add!).

So, coming home from work I occasionally find myself thinking about indulging my sweet tooth after dinner - which was the case the other night.

Previously, I've bemoaned the fact Danish supermarkets all too often leave something to be desired. This is especially true for those supermarkets without half-decent in-store bakeries (yes, this means Irma, Super Brugsen, Netto and Fakta). Føtex and Super Best are generally acceptable, in this regard.

Alas, I fell victim to my own desires the other evening, and consequently I was metaphorically 'sucker-punched' by a bunch of marketers from South Jutland (the part of Denmark attached to mainland Europe, if you don't know).

You see, this craving for something sweet lead me into Irma (as it was already past 6pm, meaning all the bakeries were closed) because that's about the closest thing to a decent supermarket around where we live (meaning not a Føtex or Super Best in sight).

Oops - they had me within 3 steps.

There at the entrance way was a stack of "Gyldne Kager" (Golden Cakes) boxed cakes/pies on offer. Choices included apple-cinnamon, carmel and nut, and a couple others. Superficially, they looked okay. So I grabbed an apple-cinnamon without really paying much attention or giving it much thought. Since Irma really doesn't have much in the way of decent desserts anyway, this seemed an alright option - one about as good as it was going to get.

Arriving home, I took a closer look at the box and began to wonder. The box proudly proclaimed, "bagt med sønderjyske traditioner og de bedste råvarer". To translate: 'baked with south Jutland's traditions and the best ingredients'.

And the moment I opened it, I knew I had been had. Apparently South Jutland's traditions and best ingredients revolve around heavily processed food with plenty of chemical additives. Not even the illusion of freshness (but a very unnatural sort of sticky feeling thanks to the questionable residue leftover in your mouth after eating).

Sometimes marketing can give you a real bitchslap, if you're not paying close enough attention. I won't be fooled again...famous last words.